A number of you may have noticed that the frequency of posting on this blog has gone down to just over one a week. If you follow Stirrings from below on social media, you may have noticed that I only make an occasional appearance on X (formerly known as Twitter) and Facebook. As this blog currently has over 350 free subscribers, I feel that some kind of explanation is in order.
I'll start off with something I wrote to clarify my thoughts on what I'm doing with this blog, why I'm doing it and whether it has a viable future. It was written for internal consumption but in the interests of transparency, I'm making it public. Here goes:
With the world feeling like it's going to hell, there's no shortage of things to write and rant about. Not feeling like writing could be down to three things:
a) simply the fact that I've given up caring
b) feeling so overwhelmed by a maelstrom of events that I don't know where to start
c) wondering if my writing actually makes any difference
Well, it certainly isn't a), not least because at least some of the shite coming down the line will directly impact me and my family. It has to be said that there are days when b) definitely applies. That leaves c) which is a tough one to deal with. Since becoming a politically homeless lone operator, blogging has become the biggest component of my activism. Blogging can be viewed in many ways. It can be someone with genuine insight and talent producing material that resonates, prompting people to think deeply and then to act. On the other hand, it can be some sad old bastard ranting away to an audience that in all honesty, doesn't even reach three figures. Obviously I want to think I'm the former but if I'm being totally honest, there are days when the latter feels closer to the truth.
Given that, do I really want to carry on if the audience who genuinely read through a whole post is struggling to reach three figures? I've been blogging in one guise or another for over a decade. That's a long time and a lot of words! Asking myself whether it has made any real difference is a tough question to ask. Tough because an honest answer may be an admission that I've been wasting my time for over a decade. Then again, an honest answer may help me make the necessary decisions to ensure I don't waste any more of my time.
A realistic assessment is that what I write does have a limited influence in some quarters. Whether that's enough to justify carrying on as have been is something that needs to be decided. There are a number of different options I could take...
Option 1
Grit my teeth and carry on as normal posting here and on At the Grassroots, albeit I'm already at the point where I owe the subscribers and followers who care an apology for the break in posting.
Option 2
Be honest with the subscribers and followers on both blogs and tell them to expect no more than one post a week and the occasional meme. Under this and the previous option, the production and distribution of an At the Grassroots paper is still on the cards. That's because handing out papers and talking to people face to face is infinitely preferable to ranting away on a keyboard.
Option 3
Scale the blogging back to here on Substack and drop At the Grassroots. Remove any mention of At the Grassroots from here on Substack. Explain to subscribers and followers on social media why this decision has been made and manage down their expectations. Under this and the previous two options, the stickering will still carry on. It should be noted that the implementation of this option does involve a fair bit of work...
Option 4
This is the nuclear option of binning both blogs, binning the X account, binning the Facebook page and last but by no means least, binning the email so people can't contact me to ask what the f**k am I doing! All with no explanation...just blow it up and walk away to get on with the rest of my life. The fact that I have seriously thought about this option indicates that at some point in the not too distant future, things will definitely have to change.
For those of you who have been following, you'll have noticed that the At the Grassroots project has been binned, along with any idea of producing and distributing a paper. To all intents and purposes, Option 3 has been implemented. The only physical propaganda we now have are the stickers and the posters. As soon as the weather gets warmer and the sodding rain eases off, these will be going up:) Things have been slimmed down to a manageable level, freeing up time for other activities. None of this affects the practical activity we do with the community vegetable plot and the litter picking where we live in Keynsham.
I'll be totally honest with you and admit that there were some dark moments when I was seriously considering Option 4. The only thing that stopped me from doing that was the thought of trashing over a year's worth of writing and letting down followers and subscribers. Also, with the shite increasingly hitting the fan, I need an established blog in reserve so that I can re-enter the fray.
For the moment, the posting frequency on here is going to be just over once per week. One of the reasons being that I want to take some time out to think about the future direction of this blog. Looking back at what I've written, I can't help noticing that there has been a tendency to react to agendas when I should have been questioning them more thoroughly. You don't need me to tell you that there are a lot of agendas in play at the moment. All designed to manipulate the way we think and act. All appearing to be designed to polarise opinion in a very black and white way with no room for nuance, grey areas and doubt. All designed to generate angry reactions that will be exploited for some very questionable ends.
I don't like getting played or used. In the decades I've been an activist, I've had too many people try to play and use me. When I was younger and more idealistic and naïve, sadly there were times when I fell for those attempts. Now I'm older, hopefully wiser and a lot more cynical, I hope I can see when an agenda is being played right in front of me and not fall into the trap of providing the reaction the agenda setter wants. The same applies to some of the blatant provocations I've seen, particularly from those hurling accusations of being a 'conspiracy theorist' about.
Which makes writing blog posts quite tough because I'm questioning what the f**k is actually going on here and trying to avoid being played or used to further someone else's agenda. That in part does explain the drop off in the posting rate on here. There has been plenty going on that I could have blogged about but there has always been that nagging doubt in my mind about being used or my words being twisted or used by those with nefarious intentions. Also, I've no intention of rising to the bait that a number of wind up merchants are dangling right in front of me, hoping for an angry reaction!
Also, if I'm being totally honest, after more decades of activism that I care to remember, I'm feeling somewhat burned out. So, now is as good a time as any to take my foot off the gas for a few weeks to think about the future direction of the blog in particular, and my activism in general. Hopefully once spring is underway, I'll be back on track...
1. You are doing a fantastic job, even if it's not reaching as many people as you'd like (you're in a similar situation to a vicar re the size of his congregation, right?). I only discovered your blog about six months ago and value it very highly.
2. One post a week is plenty, from where I'm standing. I try to read way too much on Substack so I'm very grateful when writers I don't want to miss don't post more than that!
3. There's also the principle of morphic resonance and the energy from which you are blogging - what you are doing is likely to be reaching more people out there than you realise even if they aren't reading your words...
4. Bristol needs you.
5. And yet I can totally understand where you are coming from. You need to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others... ALSO it will always be exhausting when you come from a place of trying to change the world and make things better. If you can say what you have to say and let go of any expectations around what effect your words will have, they will paradoxically probably have more effect. So ignore 4. :-) and allow what enfolds from within you to do just that - enfold and be what it needs to be.
xxx
I’m just here to say that I hope you will do what feels right to you. I have tremendously enjoyed and been buoyed up by your writing. If you continue so will I but if you don’t I will understand. I am sure I’m not the only one you have made a positive difference to. Thank you for everything and follow your beautiful heart.